Posts Tagged ‘Judgemental’

What If…

Posted: March 29, 2011 in Leadership, Lessons, vision
Tags: , , , ,

What if all that we have gone through, good and bad, had a bigger purpose?  What if the events of our life was to shape us and mold us into the person God intended us to be?  What if the hurts and pains of life were designed to build our character for something greater in the future?

I know, many of you are reading this and saying…duh, you are just now getting that?  Well, the simple answer is…Yes.  I remember coming out of college and thinking I had the world by the tail.  I was going to have success and change the world (just like the commencement speaker at graduation said I would).  Well after graduation, life started happening and I experienced “the real world” that they never told me about in college.  I complained to God and told Him how he wasn’t playing fair.  I had given up a lot to purse Him and his plan for the world and He was not returning the favor, or was he?

Graduation was nearly 20 years ago and I am a different person than I was back then.  My journey has not been easy and I would not wish it on my worst enemy, however, I wouldn’t trade it.  It has helped shape my character, my competency, and my compassion for others.  Here a few of my lessons I have learned along the journey…

  1. Find the positive in the negative
  2. Be truthful, even if it may hurt.
  3. If you must make a hard decision, do it with integrity.
  4. Don’t judge (my younger years was full of judgement, and it has come back to bite me)
  5. Be patient with others, they are on a journey…just like me
  6. encourage, love and inspire others to be great

There are many more I have learned.  I am sure there are many more I still need to learn.  I haven’t gotten life figured out yet but I will keep adding each lesson I learn into my arsenal.  Life is still hard at times, however, I am on the journey to something great.

I am just curios…What have you learned?


760_the_shrekA few years ago I saw a movie that has become a classic and has been followed by a few sequels.  The movie..Shrek.  Shrek was a movie based on the perspective of an Ogre.  An Ogre is viewed as mean, ugly and typically a villain.  However, as you watched the movie you gained compassion for this ogre, Shrek.

Even though I saw the movie many years ago, there has been one line that has stuck with me from the very first time I saw it.  Shrek was being pushed by an annoying donkey to share his true feelings.  At a point of frustration, Shrek shares his true hurt and screams at the donkey that “they judge me before they even know me.” WOW.

Have you ever been guilty of judging people before you even know them.  The truth is, I have.  I am not proud of it, but it has happened.  I have judged people by the way they dress, wear their hair, and even what activities they enjoy.  I have even judged people according to their success or failures.  I do all of that without even talking to them or hearing their story.

As you read this you might think I am a horrible person or you might might think I am a good person because of my honesty.  Whatever the case, we all find ourselves making judgement.  Here are a few things I have done to help me to be less judgmental:

  1. Never Assume:  Sounds simple.  However it takes discipline.  Don’t assume  anything about anyone.  When you begin to assume something about someone, I bet you will be wrong about them.  Focus on what you do know, not what you don’t know.  Your mind can be very creative and paint some pretty bad things that are not true if you assume.
  2. Remember Everyone has a Story- The journey people go through help develop their perspective on dress, hair style, education, and even God.  Everyone is different.  Loving people gives you the desire to know peoples stories.
  3. Ask questions:  I have made it a habit to ask people about their tattoos.  Why?  Because typically a tattoo has a  story and people want to tell their story.  Ask about their family, growing up.  I sat next to a federal judge on the plane one time and I asked about  his kids and grand kids.  He talked the entire flight.
  4. Listen:  You can learn a lot about someone if you just listen.  You hear hurt, pain, interests, passions and frustrations.

Shrek gets a bad rap.  He really is a great guy.  That is why so many have fell in love with the green, overweight, funny-eared, ogre.  They have gotten to know him.  When you get to know someone you usually find out, they are a lot of fun to be around.

The last thing that helps me is to remember:  People often judge me before they get to know me.  I would really appreciate it if they would get to know me, before they judge me!