Throughout my life I have learned a lot of things by experience.  I know that touching an electrical wire that is still “hot” will send a really painful feeling through you, I know that not going to the dentist on a regular basis will turn painful, I know that to have great friends, you must be a great friend and I know that just because it says the high is 70 in Colorado, doesn’t mean it will be warm all day.  I have learned to expect things based on my experiences.

However, lately, I have been thinking about “expectations.”  Are they good?  Are they a set up for disaster?  Or should we have expectations? Newton’s law of motion says that “for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.”  Newton’s law basically supports the “cause and effect” example.  If I do “A” then the results will be “B”.  Sounds very logical and linear and we can project certain expectations based on our knowledge.  But what about expectations with people? or even God?  These are not objects, but living beings with real emotions and feelings.

Many times over I have entered a relationship with certain expectations.  More often than not, I have been hurt or disappointed because my expectations were not met.  Even with God, I have expected Him to work in a certain way only to become hurt and experience doubt when He doesn’t do as I expected.  So, where does “expectations” fit into relationships?  Where does it fit with God?  Is it a lack of faith not to expect?

Even as I wrote this, I have looked at many passages of scriptures and I am still processing my thoughts on this subject.  I would love to hear what you have to s about this subject, but here are a few of mine:

  1. “Have Realistic Expectations” Unrealistic expectations are a set up for disaster.  Keep in mind, what may be realistic to you, may not be for the other.
  2. “If God be for me, who can be against me” God is for me no matter what my circumstances may be.  God is for me!
  3. “I will never leave you nor forsake you” Honestly, there are times I feel God has left me.  He didn’t follow through exactly like I had planned, but that doesn’t mean he has left me.
  4. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Trust is hard for me.  I am still leaning to trust His ways, even if they are different from mine.  I have asked for something specifically, but not received.  God, help me to trust your ways.
  5. Forgiveness” It is hard not to place expectations on people.  People fail us and hurt us.  The greatest advice I can give to someone who has been hurt by unfulfilled expectations is Forgive.  Think about it, I am sure someone had an expectation of you that was not fulfilled.

I expect you have a few thoughts…. I would love to hear them.


What If…

Posted: March 29, 2011 in Leadership, Lessons, vision
Tags: , , , ,

What if all that we have gone through, good and bad, had a bigger purpose?  What if the events of our life was to shape us and mold us into the person God intended us to be?  What if the hurts and pains of life were designed to build our character for something greater in the future?

I know, many of you are reading this and saying…duh, you are just now getting that?  Well, the simple answer is…Yes.  I remember coming out of college and thinking I had the world by the tail.  I was going to have success and change the world (just like the commencement speaker at graduation said I would).  Well after graduation, life started happening and I experienced “the real world” that they never told me about in college.  I complained to God and told Him how he wasn’t playing fair.  I had given up a lot to purse Him and his plan for the world and He was not returning the favor, or was he?

Graduation was nearly 20 years ago and I am a different person than I was back then.  My journey has not been easy and I would not wish it on my worst enemy, however, I wouldn’t trade it.  It has helped shape my character, my competency, and my compassion for others.  Here a few of my lessons I have learned along the journey…

  1. Find the positive in the negative
  2. Be truthful, even if it may hurt.
  3. If you must make a hard decision, do it with integrity.
  4. Don’t judge (my younger years was full of judgement, and it has come back to bite me)
  5. Be patient with others, they are on a journey…just like me
  6. encourage, love and inspire others to be great

There are many more I have learned.  I am sure there are many more I still need to learn.  I haven’t gotten life figured out yet but I will keep adding each lesson I learn into my arsenal.  Life is still hard at times, however, I am on the journey to something great.

I am just curios…What have you learned?

Here is a little quiz you can take.  Simply answer with “improvement” or “not improvement”…

  1. Cordless Phones…improvement or not improvement
  2. McDonalds……improvement or not improvement
  3. Hawaii 5-0…..improvement or not improvement
  4. American Idol……..improvement or not improvement
  5. Email…………..improvement or not improvement
  6. Denver Nuggets (after the trade)………improvement or not improvement
  7. President Obama………..improvement or not improvement
  8. Caller ID…………improvement or not improvement
  9. TV Programming…..improvement or not improvement
  10. Verizon……improvement or not improvement

There are a lot of things that may or may not improve the quality of your life.  However, there is one thing we can all do….do something to improve the quality of life for someone else.  A simple smile, a nice tip to the waitress, a kind comment to a stranger, picking up that wrapper off the ground, planting a tree, or calling someone to say hi.  When we serve others, we change the quality of life for a lot of people.  A kind word can give someone confidence and confidence is a key to success and that persons success can improve the quality of life for many others.  Picking up that wrapper seems so minor but everyone enjoys visiting a clean place, it feels good and it improves that quality of life for all who experience it.

So what are you doing to improve the quality of life for others?

IT is really amazing to think about the things you did to catch the eye of that special person.  I remember having a phone bill that had 4 digits.  I was not making enough money to buy groceries but I was in love and I did not want to go without talking to my special lady (and yes, this was before the internet and cell phones).

My son Hayden has found what he enjoys, Taekwondo.  He has already moved up 3 belts to an orange belt.  His excitement is contagious and Cindy and I get excited seeing him enjoy his new-found love.  Because of that, we have done odd jobs and even sacrificed a little to help keep our son participating in Taekwondo.  Why?  Because you will do things for the ones you love.

I am sure we can all think of times when we made some great sacrifices for others.  People that we loved.  Some knew of our sacrifices.  Others still have no idea what we did, but we continued to do things, because we love.

Thinking back, who has sacrificed for you?  Give them a call, write an email, drop a line on Facebook, or write a hand written letter and send it by snail mail and tell them THANK YOU. Let love motivate you.

I recently was evaluating my life and the journey it has brought me through.  I thought about the moments that I felt like I had failed, which led me to the question, “Did I Fail?”

The truth is I have made some very dumb decisions.  I have hurt others by my decisions and I have let a lot of people down.  Like the time I tried to get a volunteer to resign from her position.  I came up with a plan that would give her some time off.  My hopes were that she would enjoy the time off and come and resign to me.  Not a good idea.  After the “time off” was over, she was ready to get right back in, and she did.  After a few weeks of avoiding her calls and hoping for a good ending, I had to talk with her.

The conversation did not go well.  I listened, for what seemed like hours, about how I was a poor leader and I needed to be honest upfront, even if it was going to hurt.  I felt horrible.  She was right, she deserved better and I let her down.

If the story ended there, I would say I failed.  However, because of that blunder, I committed to myself to learn from this and become a better leader.  That moment hurt her and some others, but because of that, it helped shape my character.  Today, I make difficult decisions, but I am honest and clear about the decision.

I believe failure is when you refuse to allow your character defects to teach you to become a better person.  Don’t be a failure, learn and correct.  I learned a valuable lesson at the expense of someone else, but I am glad I learned the lesson.

Simple Enough…I Think

Posted: February 17, 2011 in Lessons, Thoughts

I am currently working on our church website.  I wanted to create a link for people to see what books we are reading and which books we recommend to read.  I thought I would contact to see if they had a service that would help me and it would give the viewers a way to purchase the book.  Here was the response I got…

If you wish to find a particular person’s Listmania, click on the Your tab, choose “People” from the Search pull-down menu, and enter the person’s name on If they’ve created a Profile, it will show up in the search results. To see if that person has created a Listmania list, simply visit the Profile page.

In the Address Bar of the persons Listmania page there will be a series of digits/numbers similar to this, “R2ZYGFW2FL4J5C”. These digits are the identification numbers for Listmania List in question and will change each time for every list you look at.

To include these lists in you’r astore you will first need to copy and paste Listmania list number “R2ZYGFW2FL4J5C” in a category of your aStore. To do this select or create a new category in your aStore. After you have selected a category or created a new category, click on the drop down box located on the right hand side and select “Add products from a Listmania! List” under Edit Category Page of the aStore

Paste in the Listmania List number in the box and click the save button of the category. After you have saved the category to your aStore, click the preview button and selected the category you added the Listmania List to. You will see that the list has been added to the category.

As always, please feel free to contact us should you have future questions or comments. If you need to contact us back, you can do so by using the secure form at the following specialized link to assure we receive your message:

I hope this helps! We look forward to seeing you again soon.

Did I solve your problem?”

I have a question……eahhh?

It’s Been a While

Posted: February 17, 2011 in Thoughts, Uncategorized

OK, I must admit.  It looks like I fell of the edge of the earth.  It has been a while since I have blogged.  My wife recently started a blog and she has challenged me to get back into sharing my life.

Well, this past year has been a crazy one.  Trying to Discover what my life is all about is fulfilling at times and frustrating most of the time.  I am sure I will share some of those thought as time goes on but right now I wanted to take the leap and get back into blogging.

Hope I can say something you can use or inspire you to become active.  Whatever the case, the discovery is all part of life.