However, lately, I have been thinking about “expectations.”  Are they good?  Are they a set up for disaster?  Or should we have expectations? Newton’s law of motion says that “for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.”  Newton’s law basically supports the “cause and effect” example.  If I do “A” then the results will be “B”.  Sounds very logical and linear and we can project certain expectations based on our knowledge.  But what about expectations with people? or even God?  These are not objects, but living beings with real emotions and feelings.

Many times over I have entered a relationship with certain expectations.  More often than not, I have been hurt or disappointed because my expectations were not met.  Even with God, I have expected Him to work in a certain way only to become hurt and experience doubt when He doesn’t do as I expected.  So, where does “expectations” fit into relationships?  Where does it fit with God?  Is it a lack of faith not to expect?

Even as I wrote this, I have looked at many passages of scriptures and I am still processing my thoughts on this subject.  I would love to hear what you have to s about this subject, but here are a few of mine:

1. “Have Realistic Expectations” Unrealistic expectations are a set up for disaster.  Keep in mind, what may be realistic to you, may not be for the other.
2. “If God be for me, who can be against me” God is for me no matter what my circumstances may be.  God is for me!
3. “I will never leave you nor forsake you” Honestly, there are times I feel God has left me.  He didn’t follow through exactly like I had planned, but that doesn’t mean he has left me.
4. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Trust is hard for me.  I am still leaning to trust His ways, even if they are different from mine.  I have asked for something specifically, but not received.  God, help me to trust your ways.
5. “Forgiveness” It is hard not to place expectations on people.  People fail us and hurt us.  The greatest advice I can give to someone who has been hurt by unfulfilled expectations is Forgive.  Think about it, I am sure someone had an expectation of you that was not fulfilled.

I expect you have a few thoughts…. I would love to hear them.

I know, many of you are reading this and saying…duh, you are just now getting that?  Well, the simple answer is…Yes.  I remember coming out of college and thinking I had the world by the tail.  I was going to have success and change the world (just like the commencement speaker at graduation said I would).  Well after graduation, life started happening and I experienced “the real world” that they never told me about in college.  I complained to God and told Him how he wasn’t playing fair.  I had given up a lot to purse Him and his plan for the world and He was not returning the favor, or was he?

Graduation was nearly 20 years ago and I am a different person than I was back then.  My journey has not been easy and I would not wish it on my worst enemy, however, I wouldn’t trade it.  It has helped shape my character, my competency, and my compassion for others.  Here a few of my lessons I have learned along the journey…

1. Find the positive in the negative
2. Be truthful, even if it may hurt.
3. If you must make a hard decision, do it with integrity.
4. Don’t judge (my younger years was full of judgement, and it has come back to bite me)
5. Be patient with others, they are on a journey…just like me
6. encourage, love and inspire others to be great

There are many more I have learned.  I am sure there are many more I still need to learn.  I haven’t gotten life figured out yet but I will keep adding each lesson I learn into my arsenal.  Life is still hard at times, however, I am on the journey to something great.

I am just curios…What have you learned?

1. Cordless Phones…improvement or not improvement
2. McDonalds……improvement or not improvement
3. Hawaii 5-0…..improvement or not improvement
4. American Idol……..improvement or not improvement
5. Email…………..improvement or not improvement
6. Denver Nuggets (after the trade)………improvement or not improvement
7. President Obama………..improvement or not improvement
8. Caller ID…………improvement or not improvement
9. TV Programming…..improvement or not improvement
10. Verizon……improvement or not improvement

There are a lot of things that may or may not improve the quality of your life.  However, there is one thing we can all do….do something to improve the quality of life for someone else.  A simple smile, a nice tip to the waitress, a kind comment to a stranger, picking up that wrapper off the ground, planting a tree, or calling someone to say hi.  When we serve others, we change the quality of life for a lot of people.  A kind word can give someone confidence and confidence is a key to success and that persons success can improve the quality of life for many others.  Picking up that wrapper seems so minor but everyone enjoys visiting a clean place, it feels good and it improves that quality of life for all who experience it.

So what are you doing to improve the quality of life for others?

My son Hayden has found what he enjoys, Taekwondo.  He has already moved up 3 belts to an orange belt.  His excitement is contagious and Cindy and I get excited seeing him enjoy his new-found love.  Because of that, we have done odd jobs and even sacrificed a little to help keep our son participating in Taekwondo.  Why?  Because you will do things for the ones you love.

I am sure we can all think of times when we made some great sacrifices for others.  People that we loved.  Some knew of our sacrifices.  Others still have no idea what we did, but we continued to do things, because we love.

Thinking back, who has sacrificed for you?  Give them a call, write an email, drop a line on Facebook, or write a hand written letter and send it by snail mail and tell them THANK YOU. Let love motivate you.

The truth is I have made some very dumb decisions.  I have hurt others by my decisions and I have let a lot of people down.  Like the time I tried to get a volunteer to resign from her position.  I came up with a plan that would give her some time off.  My hopes were that she would enjoy the time off and come and resign to me.  Not a good idea.  After the “time off” was over, she was ready to get right back in, and she did.  After a few weeks of avoiding her calls and hoping for a good ending, I had to talk with her.

The conversation did not go well.  I listened, for what seemed like hours, about how I was a poor leader and I needed to be honest upfront, even if it was going to hurt.  I felt horrible.  She was right, she deserved better and I let her down.

If the story ended there, I would say I failed.  However, because of that blunder, I committed to myself to learn from this and become a better leader.  That moment hurt her and some others, but because of that, it helped shape my character.  Today, I make difficult decisions, but I am honest and clear about the decision.

I believe failure is when you refuse to allow your character defects to teach you to become a better person.  Don’t be a failure, learn and correct.  I learned a valuable lesson at the expense of someone else, but I am glad I learned the lesson.