Why is it so hard for people to share their struggles? Even with our closest of friends we share 90% of our life but we hold back that last 10%. Why? Is the risk too large? And, what makes it a risk? What are we risking anyway?
The word “risk” means “exposure to the chance of injury or loss”. If we share that last 10% of our lives with people we trust we do run the risk of being rejected. There it is!!!! Rejection, the single largest fear of the human race. Ever since Adam and Eve hid from God we have been following that pattern. Hiding. Hiding our struggles because of the fear of rejection.
Several months ago, I witnessed what happens when you are willing to share that last 10%. A pastor friend of mine did something many of us say that it will never happen to me. He committed adultery. He lost everything. He had hidden that last 10% for so long and it had caught up to him. He did what he vowed he would never do and everything collapsed like a house of playing cards. For the next 3 years he and his wife went through the painful but healing process of working through that last 10%. Today, he has a great marriage. Even though he did a very bad thing, today he shares his story openly. He shares how Gods grace and his wife’s forgiveness has not only restored his relationship with his wife and God but has launched it to levels he never thought possible.
As I listened to my friend and his wife share their story to a class full of young married, I witnessed something amazing. Their authenticity gave others the permission to speak honestly. The next several months his schedule booked up with people wanting to talk. Couple after couple filed into his office, sharing their stories, sharing that last 10%.
God brings healing, however people need to see grace and authenticity lived out with skin on. It begins with me being honest. My honesty gives people permission to speak honestly and that is when healing begins.
Through the magic of social networking, I connected with a young lady from my youth group from the past. Many years have passed and her life has changed. She has 2 kids and her youngest (5 yrs old) has brain cancer and it is moving quickly throughout his body. That is bad enough, but as we learn more about the situation, our friend, has had some drug problems and consequently her children are currently in foster care. She is restricted to 4 hours a day with her child in the hospital, and that is only if she is lucky enough to find a ride to the hospital.
I read an interesting article today about church marketing. The article points out that most websites point out the positive of the church (and often times not truthfully). But, what if a church website was honest about their weakness. Instead of trying to hide them, and hope no one sees them, what if we mentioned them up front? Here are a few from the article: